June 14 2021 – Klarie Macias
To answer your first question, yes, I am a little nutty. When my third child was born, I had 3 children under 3 years old: a 2 year old, a 1 year old, and a 1 month old. Life was insane. Just kidding it still is, but I've learned more and more to just roll with it.
When my first baby was born, I just wondered how the doctors could let someone like me, with no knowledge of babies, just prance out the doors of the hospital with an infant. Well maybe I didn't prance. Hospital insurance coverage would probably frown on that. I did, however, leave in a sexy, gigantic wheel chair. In any case, I had zero clue about how to manage taking care of this little one. I felt stressed to the max, even to the point where I would be afraid of sleeping because I knew I was just about to be woken up again. I prayed and prayed and prayed for the day when he would sleep through the night. I even watched the entire The Mindy Show series because I was too scared of falling asleep breastfeeding in the middle of the night. Obviously, we made it out of that stage and now he is a sassy little 3-year old. I don't know if any amount of research or videos could have made that time less stressful for me, but I hope this helps someone out there about to have their first baby relax a little. You will figure this out. You are going to be an amazing mother, and not because you know everything, but because you love that little one enough to figure everything out.
Now along came my second baby 16 months later, and I found myself counting children so that I made sure everyone was taken care of. It felt insane to have to watch out for 2 little humans at the same time with such intense needs. The best part is when they cried in unison. I say it in the past tense as if they stopped, but no don't worry. They still grace me with their crying chorus every day. Even though I felt slightly more paranoid about taking care of 2 little ones, the breastfeeding came so much easier. I cared less about what other people thought of me breastfeeeding around them. I had a better understanding of my body and what it was capable of, and I knew that sleep would come and that I didn't have to be so worried all the time.
Another 16 months passed and Luna was born. Breastfeeding was less stressful in general this time. I gained even more confidence this time just out of sheer experience. I think she got breastfed the most out of all of my children. Although I did my best to exclusively breastfeed, I supplemented each of them with formula on occasion. I smiled every time I saw that milk drunk face and I wish I could burn that image and feeling into my mind forever. I'm crying now thinking about it. For each of my babies I breastfed about 6 months each. I cried each time I stopped because I felt like I was letting them down in some way. It sounds silly, but it’s exactly how I felt even though I knew I was doing everything I could to keep them happy and healthy.
Being a new mom and figuring out how to feed your baby, is tricky and messy. It is also incredibly rewarding, no matter what avenue you choose, bottle or breast. The beautiful thing is that you are strong and capable and you will figure out whatever you need to figure out. You can do this and I hope you remember that in the moments when you feel like nothing is going right. You are a champ.
Bye for now,
P.S. This is Luna, the one who made three under three a beautiful, crazy reality.